The Musician's Remorse
by Shooting Star Sky Saint
Summary: Even in his world of black and white, a bond can still be welded but madness would seem better to Allen...why is Neah crying? One-shot, dark, suicide, my first DGM fic.


**So, this is my first DGM fanfic, and I was just reading the new chapter of DGM and thought of this! Also someone said I should give DGM a chance so yep! I hope everyone enjoys this! And tell me if I did good or not! Thank you and ENJOY!**

_**The Musician's Remorse **_

If it wasn't the pain that caught his attention, then it was the blurring of his mind. A million things were happening all at once, the stabbing agony in his stomach, the racing beat of his heart and then there was the memory. He could feel it. Feel it consuming the dark corners of his mind, waiting for him to hit his breaking point and give up. But Allen Walker does not give up. Not that easily. "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright," He kept repeating that too himself, "It's alright! It's alright! It's alright!" His golem, Timcampy, hovered over him, looking worriedly down at the shivering ex-exorcist. A shaky smile was placed on Allen's face, he couldn't help but feel that he was lying too himself.

**No, everything's not going to be alright.**

He groaned as the pain intensified, running through every corner of his body. He could feel it more vividly now, his eyes changing to a demonic golden with a devilish black slit running through them, his skin beginning to turn an ash grey. He couldn't deny it. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't run away from it. The one true fact in his cruel, unforgiving moment.

He was becoming a Noah and there was no turning back now.

"It's alright, it's alright, it's alright." The smile did not falter; if it did then Allen was sure to loose the war that was waging from within. His personality, his body, his memories, _himself _against the Noah inside of him.

**Your mask is crumbling…**

Ah, why was his life like this? All he ever wanted was a safe place to call home, to be back with his friends at the Order, to fight the Akuma and save souls. But no, no he couldn't have the luxury of having a simple life and that's what got him to where he was now. "It's alright, it's alright, it's alright!" The agony tore through his body mercilessly, it hurt so badly that he had to grab hold of the tunnel walls with both of his hands and struggle against the odds of biting his tongue. Oh God, he wanted it to end so badly. So… _so badly._

**Never forgive…**

Allen laughed bitterly to himself; anyone who might've been watching him would think that it was a madman's laugh but no. It was too broken, too incurable, too hollow, as if devoid of everything except the sadness that was etched into his being. Golden eyes gleamed with an edge of insanity as they glanced up at his two different color hands. The smile immediately faded and a new feeling overshadowed the teen.

**Never forgive…**

It was dark and coldness swept over his pain-driven body. It was so cold, so unbearably cold. He needed to be warm again, needed to have warmth… his eyes crossed over to his left hand and shot wide with emptiness. _So, so cold_, he thought as he became focused on his Innocence. He teeth gritted as this new feeling took control of his body, he was loosing; loosing the battle within.

**Never forgive… the Innocence…**

_So… so cold. _His golden eyes narrowed with an uncertain kind of hatred as he glared at his left hand and trembled, completely ignoring the pain that was still ravaging his body. "N-Never forgive…" He said silently too himself. Timcampy crept up closer to his Master and gazed up at his new expression, he truly had changed; his teeth were bared in an animalistic angry way, his golden eyes were narrowed along with the slits giving him a demonic appearance and his hands were shaking wildly. _It's so cold… _

**Never forgive the Innocence**

He felt the hatred of centuries course through his body. He felt the anger towards the thing that was attached to his body and he felt the cold that threatened his consciences. He needed warmth. Maybe just maybe… his blood would give him warmth. "Never forgive…" If he cut off the Innocence… if he cut off his left arm then his blood would flow and heat him up. Yes – that would work. "Never forgive the Innocence." Allen hissed.

Then that's when it hit him. What had he just been saying? No, what was he about to do? Tear off his left arm? Cut off his Innocence? No… that wasn't him, he wouldn't do that! Allen clenched both of his hands and grimaced, was _this _what he had been close to doing? "It's alright! It's alright! It's alright! It's alright! It's alright!" He repeated this more rapidly, feeling his heartbeat elevate with the overflowing emotion that threatened to crack his sanity.

**Your mask is gone**

His mask was gone a long time ago. The true Allen was showing and now, now he was soon to be replaced with a new mask, a new personality. But that's when an idea struck him; he looked back down at his Innocence and grinned maniacally. If he could only activate it then everything would end. Innocence against the Noah memory. Yes, it was perfect! All he had to do is activate it… just activate it… and then… _end himself_. The grin grew shaky, he was aware of what he was doing. This wasn't the idea of the 14th's, this wasn't the idea of a madman, this was the idea of Allen Walker and no one else. Yes… Allen Walker, that's who he is and this is what he'll do. _I'm so sorry everyone… _he thought, feeling the pain edge through him again, _I'm sorry Lenalee… Kanda… Johnny… Link…_

**If you sleep, it's all over… you'll never wake up**

His hands were trembling so much and the cold was not gone. _Just activate it! _"It's alright, it's alright, it's alright…"

He was born as Allen Walker and he would die as Allen Walker.

"Acti-" He was quickly stopped when a tall figure walked towards him. He looked up at the man with dark hair and sad eyes; tears were streaming down his face yet a noise did not leave his lips. Allen kept his gaze on the man as snow began to fall from out of nowhere. The man was standing in front of the white-haired teen with the tears' continuing to fall, who is_ this_, Allen thought as the man crouched down giving the young man a good look at his face. "_Neah…" _

"…" Neah's hand rose from his side and slowly eased towards Allen's cheek. All at once, pain and ice feelings vanished from Allen's body and were replaced with a new type of warmth. An almost illusion type of sensation. It felt so good yet so… empty… so sad… a bittersweet mixture of blissful warmth. Allen gazed into Neah's sorrow filled eyes and felt his own turned eyes pulse with that same sadness. Neah's hand remained on Allen's cheek as he opened his mouth, the tears still streaming from his eyes and spoke.

"Do you hate me?"

Allen felt his racing heart skip a beat. His golden eyes mixed with the older man's sad gaze and then, time seemed to stop. His blood froze in his veins as one name caressed through him… "Neah." Then the world fell down.

The illusion dissolved and the pain came back.

Neah was gone and reality came crashing down with its harsh cruel truths.

The snow was not there anymore, only the darkness. It's always darkness; hardly any light is left in his world of black and white.

Allen had awoken from the dream and returned to the nightmare but…

_"Neah…"_ His views about the Fourteenth have now changed.

**How'd I do? Was it good or bad?**


End file.
